Wednesday, June 04, 2008

"Would You Do Me the Honour of Becoming My Husband?"

You're right. That just doesn't sound right. It doesn't have a ring to it (no pun intended). But this is something a friend and I were talking about. When you like someone, what exactly do you do? We both decided we always have, and probably always will, bide our time, till the men who've caught our fancies ask us out. Then, a male friend whom I consulted told me he usually waits for women to make the move, because you don't know how women will react when you ask them out, and if they snub you, they'll tell all their friends anyway. When I tried convincing him that women usually say yes to anything when the thing says the right things, he shook his head and said "oh, most women who're worth your time are intimidating! Which is why I kinda prefer the cute little dumb ones!" All right, feminists, pretend I did not quote him. And don't ask me which friend of mine it was.

When I relayed the information to the friend I had discussed the concept of asking out with, she and I wandered to the next topic - collateral damage. While you're trying to put your feminine mystique and what you hope is the sex goddess in you waiting to leap out through your eyes, out there, invariably, there is another guy who sees it and the guy you fancy doesn't quite. So what happens is, all the time you're being your smartest, funniest, beautifullest, won't-she-be-my-wifest self, you're making the wrong person fall for you. And then we realised we're the ones who become the collateral damage.

In order to explain how, I beg permission for a small diversion into my psychiatrist aunt's elucidation of the process. Apparently, women who're looking for a relationship or women who fancy a particular guy give out the same scent as the female of any species in the animal kingdom in heat, searching for a mate. But God being a man decided to complicate our lives by blessing the males of our species with exactly the opposite instincts from males of other species. So when you like someone, you apparently push him away/ scare him away through some random reflection of intensity you're not even aware of.

Now to get back to the situation, you scare off the guy you're hitting on, till he starts eluding you. Then, you look for validation. Which means when Mr. Collateral Damage asks you out, you initially refuse, then falter, then say yes and tumble headlong into a relationship where you are the collateral damage.

Which is why women say yes to anything as long as the anything says the right things.

Which is why most relationships "intimidating women" enter fail.

Which is why women should take matters into their own hands and do the asking out before they become the collateral damage of their confused demureness!!!

3 comments:

Bhaskar said...

Here's a theoretical proof behind your dilemma.

http://www.slate.com/id/2188684/

Bhaskar!

Nandini Krishnan said...

Incidentally, you were the friend I was referring to...:-) Oh, the disadvantages of knowing me for four and a half years!

Nandini Krishnan said...

and the other woman i referred to in this post told me about the auction...affords us a lot of amusement, and a certain degree of consolation!

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